A Cycle – 24^th Sunday in Ordinary Time 23

Mt. 18:21-35

How many times have we heard the statement “God is love” and how much God desires to lavish His love upon us?  Love is romanticized in songs, books, and movies so much we get the impression love is always a feel good experience.  But life teaches us love can be painful and at times love must be direct and honest. Jesus demonstrated His love of the temple when he overturned the money changers tables and cast them out of the temple.  Pictures of that scene in the gospels have Jesus banishing a whip as He cast the money changers out.  Tough love demands directness and unwavering desire to change what it discovers is harmful to the one they love.

Jesus also shows us love when He calls Peter a “Satan” because Peter lacked the mission of Jesus. Peter’s understanding of how sin would be forgiven was a temptation encouraging Jesus not to suffer and die.  We can hear those tough words from the Father in today’s first reading from the Book of Sirach.  “Forgive your neighbor’s injustice; then when you pray, your own sins will be forgiven. Could anyone nourish anger against another and expect healing from the LORD? Could anyone refuse mercy to another like himself, can he seek pardon for his own sins?  Can anyone of us forgive an injustice against us? Can we forgive the deep pain of unfaithfulness in a marriage or forgive someone who sexually abused our child?  How about that person who conned you out of your hard earned savings, can you overlook their sin? 

But God is telling us we must, or our own sins will not be forgiven.  If we go to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation and we honestly pour out all our failings, all our weaknesses and not hide the ugliness of our sins we do so expecting forgiveness. If we have not forgiven someone who has wronged us, we should also confess that because God is clear when He said we need to forgive to receive forgiveness.   Of all the things we believe God requires of us, forgiving others is the hardest to embrace. It is much easier to follow the dictates of our faith and to try to follow all the laws of God and of the church than to forgive a serious wrong against us. 

It is hard because it demands of us forgiveness of the unforgivable.  It demands of us to let go of our desire to punish them.  How can we forgive the person who “when they were drunk” killed our child.  Their weakness or their depravity caused us great pain and God tells us we must forgive.  Jesus reinforces this demand of us to forgive when he tells the disciples they must forgive. Peter’s response, using hyperbole says, how many times must we forgive, seven times.  No not seven times but seventy seven times, each time, every time until something happens in our hearts to make that last offering of forgiveness.     

Forgiveness does not begin with a heartfelt desire to reconcile with the other person who has wounded us. No, it begins with a desire to be in a right relationship with God.  Forgiveness of others opens the door for God’s grace to be poured into our hearts and allow us to feel whole again. Not broken, not wounded, not angry or filled with pain but whole and able to feel joy and peace once again.  Forgiveness from our hearts can and does catch up once we make the decision to forgive. 

But to get there it begins with a desire to be in a right relationship with God. That is why we enter the confessional in the first place. So why not, after confessing our own sins reveal the pain in our hearts because we have been deeply wounded by someone else.  Why not reveal our inability to forgive because it means we must let go of our desire for vengeance and retaliation. To let go of our desire for them to feel the pain we have carried with us for years.  Forgiveness is a choice we make which does not come from our emotions but from a desire to be the person God desires us to become. 

We must recognize how unforgiveness impacts our relationship with God. We want what He offers us, a life of joy and abundance, but we do not realize how much unforgiveness is blocking our ability to receive what God desires to give us.  We have built a wall around our hearts, and it keeps us from allowing God’s grace to touch us.  It keeps all that pain locked up inside us, where it keeps reminding us of what we have lost.  We cry out to God and wonder why there is no relief. We wonder if God is sleeping, or deaf, or am I being punished or does He even care what I am going through. 

Yes, God cares, and He offers us the key to our healing and becoming whole is by our decision to forgive.  Once we decide we must say the words, “I forgive” and release them to God.  Those words are the identical words Jesus utters from the cross, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”  We do not have to offer them compassion, but we do need to say words of forgiveness.  We can decide to forgive because we want to be obedient to God and because we want God’s forgiveness in our lives. 

In time we will discover those words of forgiveness which came from the head will move to a forgiveness that comes from our hearts. We will understand how God can forgive the most horrific of evils man can inflict on others because we have done what Jesus did, forgive.  We can then begin to offer them mercy by asking God to bless them and touch their hearts.

Forgiveness does not mean your relationship with them will change into a friendship.  In fact, the chances are you will never be warm and cozy with them, but you can be cordial when near them. Forgiveness does not mean you have to forgive face to face, in fact often they will deny every wounding you and that will compound the hurt you already feel.  Forgiveness must be done and the best place to offer it is in the confessional or here in the presence of God as we receive Jesus’s forgiveness of our sins.