A Cycle – 23rd Sunday in Ordinary Time 26

Mt. 18:15-20

Have you noticed what God demands of us is much harder for us to achieve than we have the inclination to achieve.  It goes against our notion of fairness.  Ezekial understood the role of a prophet, but he did not realize his willingness to offer sinners a means of reconciling with God came with him being punished if he did not offer them a means of seeking reconciliation.  Do we understand we are our brother’s keeper and that means we must offer others a means of reconciliation with us and God.  

We do not understand forgiveness as God desires to give us or to have us give others.  We understand we are inclined to be self-serving and that means we will always be inclined to sin.  As we recite the Act of Contrition, we confess we not only sin, but we greatly sin.  We acknowledge we sin by what we do and what we fail to do and what we fail to do lies at the root of our confusion about forgiveness. We are far too centered on our own desire to be acceptable to God to grasp we have an obligation to forgive those who have wounded us. 

Today’s gospel is clear, but we have heard it so many times it does not register as being something each one of us has failed to obey.  Let me make it clear. God is telling us before we approach the altar of sacrifice, “.. we must seek reconciliation with every individual who has sinned against us.

If that is not clear enough, continues speaking to us in this gospel about forgiveness.’  He tells us the parable of the unjust Stewart who begged his master for more time to pay his debt. The master moved with pity cancels his debt.  Stewart responds by demanding those who owe him a debt to immediately pay their debt.  He refuses their requests and has them cast them into prison.  The master finds out and berates that unjust Stewart had him jailed.  Then Jesus concludes that parable with these words: “unless you forgive from your heart, God will not forgive you” (Mt.18:35).

This is the part about forgiveness we fail to understand –those who have wounded us is not an option; it is an obligation that opens the door for the Holy Spirit to change our hearts. Without forgiving those who have wounded us will always be an obstacle to our holiness. It is an obstacle to our ability to feeling God’ forgiveness. We fail to understand how critical it is for us to forgive. Oue act of forgiveness does not minimize the things people have done to us. What they have has caused us great pain, it is life changing, demeaning and horrendous. Which is why forgiveness is hard and it is why we find it impossible to forgive.  We carry the horror of their action every day of our lives.  Forgiveness seems to be an unreasonable demand because we cannot understand the power of forgiveness. Because we fail to forgive, we do not experience the freedom of forgiving as the prodigal son did.  We agree with the older brother, forgiveness is unfair. The prodigal son should have been punished, not embraced.

We want and expect God’s forgiveness.  We acknowledge Jesus took upon Himself the penalty of our sin.  But when it comes to us forgiving, we say, “. you do not know what they did to me.” We admit we will not forgive them even if they seek our forgiveness.    

What we miss is forgiving those who have wounded us has nothing to do with them.  It has everything to do with our relationship with God.  Forgiveness is for us to be healed from those wounds, and the truth is what we feel will get in the way of us forgiving others. 

Forgiveness is a decision we make to be reconciled to God.  By forgiving we must understand that what they did was very, very wrong and that wound remains raw.  Rape, sexual abuse, children killed by drunk drivers, unfaithfulness and many other wounds hold us captive and separates us from receiving God’s grace.  

I advise those during those retreats to realize you do not have to forgive them in person. In fact, I advise against it because they will deny doing anything to you. Their denial will only compound your wound. I do recommend you loudly say those words “l forgive you, naming their name.  As you say the words of forgiveness, cast that stone into a lake, river, ravine any place it will never be found.  You will find it is freeing, releasing you to experience a flood of God’s grace washing over you.   

Is it hard? Yes, it is, I have had people come back to me years after the retreat and tell me they tossed their stones and it was freeing as I said it would be. Why a stone you may ask.  Well, my answer is it is scriptural.  Jesus standing before the tomb of Lazarus said, “if you roll back the stone you will see the glory of God.” 

Shortly when we pray the prayer Jesus taught us.  When you pray, “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us” commit yourself to forgiving those who you wish would feel the pain they cased you.